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A client I met decided to support her mother, Ida, by inviting her to live in the basement apartment of the home she shared with her husband and two children. When Ida first moved in six months ago she was fairly able to take care of all of her own needs. Then Ida fell and fractured her pelvis and several vertebrae in her back. The fall resulted in a hospital stay and two months of rehabilitation at a local nursing facility.
The daughter again, believed she could take care of Ida. Upon release from the nursing home, Ida was a fall risk, had difficulty with mobility, was in pain due to the previous fractures, unable to remember to take her medications at the proper times, did not have much of an appetite and needed assistance with personal care. After six weeks of day and night care the daughter became distraught and angry for allowing Ida to move in with the family. Her husband finally told her she needed to get help as the situation was tearing apart their previously happy family.
It was at this point that I met with Carol and Ida. Carol was very angry about the situation and told Ida that assistance was needed because Carol could not do everything anymore. That the only other option was going back to the nursing home. Not only that, but Ida was going to have to pay for her own care. It was clear that Carol waited too long to seek assistance because it was difficult for her to interact with Ida in a courteous manner that didn't include some kind of threat.Carol went back to work the next day. The first day of care for Ida was a success – less strain on Carol and needed attention given to her mother. The second day, Carol went to work without first checking on her mother. Upon arrival, the care provider learned that Ida had fallen during the night and her son, who just happened to stop by for an early visit, found her lying on the floor and rushed her to the hospital. Unfortunately, Ida's fate was sealed with the last fall. She had re-fractured her pelvis and broken a hip and lived long enough only to be transferred to a nursing home for a second round of rehabilitation. The price of Carol's procrastination was her mother's life. The sad part is that this story is becoming more common.
As caregivers and those needing care, we often wait too long to seek assistance. We wait because we're too proud to admit we need help. We wait because we think we can do it all. We wait because we don't want to spend the inheritance of our children. We wait because we don't want others telling us what to do. We wait because we think we can do more than we actually can. The list goes on and on. The price of procrastination is expensive -- life in a nursing home or worse, death. Waiting one more day to seek help may cost more than you expect.
Copyright 2011 Pamela D. Wilson, All Rights Reserved.
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