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"I don't know why I'm still here," or "This is it, I won't see you again". I frequently hear statements like these from clients. What is it about the latter years of life that makes us look back and feel we have little left to contribute?
A friend has fabulous stories of her early life in Germany and her journey to America yet said, "there were so many others that went through the same thing, my life was nothing unusual". In truth, her life is extraordinary. She began journaling recently and now feels that she has a purpose again.
Many seniors look back 6-12 months in their lives and see how much their everyday activities have changed, especially those who have had losses in physical or mental abilities. Some thrive in spite of all of their difficulties. Losetta in spite of macular degeneration, hearing loss and severe physical disabilities still participates in American Legion meetings, makes care packages for the homeless and cookies for her local police and fire departments.
Another client, Ed, was an active sportsman until last spring when he had a stroke that left him weakened on one side of his body and unable to speak. He worked hard each day doing physical and speech therapy in order to regain as much ability as possible. But, after six months of hard work with little progress, he simply gave up. One afternoon he told his caregiver he was going to have dinner with a friend and that she should not return until 6 p.m. When the care provider returned, his dog was in the yard and she noticed a small light in the garage. The client sat in his care, sledge hammer pressed against the gas pedal, lifeless.
What makes some individuals appreciate their ability and some individuals mourn their lack of ability? We see the able and not so able all of our lives, from children born with birth defects to young athletes and seniors who compete in the Special Olympics. A positive attitude and sense of thankfulness for what we DO have is a large factor in the attitude we have toward our own lives. We fail to succeed only when we stop trying.
The ability to contribute and connect is also an important factor contributing to an attitude of purpose. If we can continue to remain socially connected with people, with groups and with causes, we tend to wonder less about why we're still here.
Copyright 2011 Pamela D. Wilson, All Rights Reserved.
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