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I recently received calls from a daughter caring for her mother and a man with no family in his 90's. Both older persons were in nursing homes and wanted to go home, but did not know how. Did you ever imagine getting to a place in your life where you didn't know how to go home? This brings back memories of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz wanting to go home, but not realizing she had the power to do so simply by clicking the heels of her ruby slippers.
Both individuals are relatively able bodied and resolute in their desire to go home. There is no reason mentally or physically for them to remain in the nursing home, especially since they are at a point where they are paying privately for care. Neither person realized that they can just go home. Yes, both individuals will need some help at home to remain independent, but going home is not impossible.
People get lost in the "system" every day. Whether it is in a nursing home, a hospital, or some other system, it happens to all of us. Sometimes it's not knowing what we don't know that puts us on hold. Some form that we didn't sign, a question we didn't know to ask, the list goes on and on. Many of the "systems" are so frantically busy that they just don't have the time for one on one personalization.This is what happened to this woman and man, both wanting just to go home. They didn't know what questions to ask. No one at the nursing homes saw the fear in their eyes because they thought they were never going home; the fear in their eyes as they saw others in the nursing home becoming frailer and passing away. In the nursing home and many other systems, there simply just isn't time to personalize.
Nursing homes provide much needed care for very frail individuals. Many times, there isn't time to just sit and talk with residents about their desires and fears. Many times, there isn't time to help them get back home especially if no family exists. Family meeting occur without family and there is no one to help plan going home, so individuals remain where they are.
Transitioning home is one service provided by geriatric care managers, myself included. We assist people who wish to go home by evaluating the needs, realities and costs of each individual situation. Sometimes it's possible to go back home, sometimes it's not. But everyone should know that the option exists -- that they do have the power within themselves to click the ruby slippers and go back home.
Copyright 2011 Pamela D. Wilson, All Rights Reserved.
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