When Was the Last Time You Visited a Nursing Home?

granddad By Pamela D Wilson, The Care Navigator, CSA, MS, BS/BA, CG

Many young people have never visited a nursing home. Yet our parents and grandparents have sickening visions of nursing homes that play in their minds especially when they think about getting older. The nursing environment has changed significantly from the memory our parents and grandparents hold, however the fear of being "put away" remains in their minds. My own mother made us promise never to put her in a nursing home - or she would come back and haunt us. Fortunately my mother passed away never having spent a single day in a nursing home.

The general population is not as fortunate. Few realize that there is no health care system to prevent individuals from ending up in a nursing home. Medicare does not pay for custodial care. Working children are shocked when the medical system does not provide the type of assistance needed when their older parents become ill. An unless you've personally experienced caregiving it's difficult to understand the stress, pressure and sleepless nights experienced by others worrying not only about their loved one but how they will ever financially survive.

Look at the recent economic woes. Most retirement accounts have dwindled to have their previous value. Yet the cost of living remains the same or greater. The cost of one year in a nursing home averages $70,000; one year in assisted living $35,000. If you or your parents had to pay these expenses today would you be able? For the majority of us the answer is no.

Older people view long term care insurance as nursing home insurance because in their minds, a nursing home is where one goes when they become old and ill. But the opposite is true. Long term care insurance provides options to avoid nursing home placement.

For an individual needing care, a nursing home is generally the last resort. Other preferred options include home care, day care and assisted living. When children become involved in the care of their parents it is usually at an early stage which means that caring for parents can last for years. This is the point where custodial care is most helpful, the type of care not reimbursed by insurance.

This means that working children spend time at work on the phone, arrive late and leave early to take parents to medical and other appointments, reduce working hours, take a leave of absence or resign to move across country to take care of their parents. They spend evenings and weekends at the home of their parents with much frustration because their parents believe their children are the only caregivers that can help. Emotions run high. Children become guilt ridden. Parents expect more and more. And children don't know where to turn.

This reality that will only escalate because of current population estimates, the population is aging, requires a new way of thinking that includes educating employees about issues arising as we age and subsequently educating about the importance of long term care insurance. Many companies fail to have a high degree of participation when long term care insurance is offered without education because employees who have not filled the role of caregiver fail to see the need and the future reality and financial expense of caring for parents and other family members.

So what is the answer? It's not relying on the U.S. healthcare system, a system trying to figure out how to rescue social security, Medicare and Medicaid. The answer is acknowledging the need for and planning for long term care. Long term care insurance is one component.
Older people view long term care insurance as nursing home insurance because in their minds, a nursing home is where one goes when they become old and ill. But the opposite is true. Long term care insurance provides options to avoid nursing home placement.

The majority of individuals over age 65 will require a long term care stay and over forty percent of these individuals will experience a long term care stay lasting two or more years. This can be a long time if you are in a nursing home in a shared room - not private room, with a roommate you dislike. It can be even longer if you are in a nursing home reimbursed by Medicaid versus retirement savings or long term care insurance.
For an individual needing care, a nursing home is generally the last resort. Other preferred options include home care, day care and assisted living. When children become involved in the care of their parents it is usually at an early stage which means that caring for parents can last for years. This is the point where custodial care is most helpful, the type of care not reimbursed by insurance.

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