By Pamela D. Wilson, The Care Navigator, CSA, MS, BS/BA, CG

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." This is a quote from Lou Holtz former Notre Dame Football coach. Caregiving (or anything we do) is difficult if that is how we see the task. Our attitude toward caregiving determines how well we will perform. To some, caregiving is a privilege, it is love, it is kindness, and it's the ability to return the care to a parent that we received from them as a child.

Our mind is the most powerful tool we have, yet many of us take it for granted. What our mind believes we will most likely experience. A positive attitude is a learned attitude – it is the action of continually, habitually reinforcing and believing the positive and eliminating the negative from our minds.

Individuals who need care lose dignity and self esteem. They feel helpless. These feelings swirl into difficult behavior; transform into a person we don't want to spend time with. If you're on the end of needing care it's important to realize that changing your response can change the relationship between you and the persons who provide care for you.

What's your response to a person who is always happy to see you? To a person who enjoys life, has fun, laughs, is always ready for the next adventure? Most of us respond positively. We want to be with this person. We want to be like this person. Some older adults wonder why no one comes to visit. Ask yourself "am I a person someone would enjoy visiting with – or do I constantly complain about all of the bad things in life"? Do I reply to a "how are you" with the miseries of my life? Do I nag my children for the things they don't do or do I thank them for the things they do?

And for those of us who are caregivers – do we provide care joyfully or do we make those for whom we provide care feel guilty that we are there day after day to help them? That they are a burden? That we wish we were somewhere else?

Positive caregiving experiences result from each individual working to maintain a positive attitude about the experience. Sure we all have days that aren't as good as others, this is part of life. But, we have the opportunity to choose a positive attitude and make the best of our days, one day at a time. The first step is to wake up, be thankful for the day ahead and believe it will be a great day.

Copyright 2011 Pamela D. Wilson, All Rights Reserved.

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